Note: this is the same blog entry as is posted at the Bump in the Road blog
We had a sermon at church a few weeks ago from the book of Luke - the parable about the widow's mite. She gave just a few cents, but it was far more precious than the hundreds of dollars the wealthy gave back to God.
But that's not what struck me. The point I walked away with (even if Jon didn't intend it) was that we are to surrender it all to God because it all belongs to Him in the first place. The point was from a financial perspective, and for our family, that's the easy thing - it's a tangible thing we can see if we are following through. But what struck me is that there's other areas of my life that I am selfish about and it's not tangible. I'm selfish about my need to escape - to be alone, do my own thing, tune out the world - essentially cut out relationships for a time. It's a huge need for me!
We were looking at houses to rent in Corvallis and came across this really cute place that was for sale with a remote possibility of being rentable. It was 1400 sq. ft on two levels. Now...how often are all my kids quietly tucked away in their rooms? Catchin' my drift? We would be 6 people and a dog happily living on top of each other in about 700 sq. ft. - actually less than that b/c the master bedroom was also on the main level. I just Googled the personal space needs for Americans and only came up with the 'two foot rule' which doesn't help in this scenario. But the point is, it'd be very tight (but do-able) quarters. I was spending my mental energy that week trying to come up with ways that I'd be able to find a good space to 'get away' from my family, even for a short time: putting a nice Adorondek chair in the back yard with a small fountain for white noise was the best I could come up with. I love my family, but I have a huge need for escape.
But this is not why God created us! The whole reason God made us was for relationship! What a bondage I'm living in when I don't want to fully appreciate His creation! Would not my life be more "full" if I was not such a slave to my isolation? Sigh. So often the things that bring us comfort are those things which keep us in bondage. We love to eat and be merry, but are then bound by an unhealthy body. We appreciate quality, but are slaves to dissatisfaction. Love children at the cost of a wholesome union with our spouse. Love recreation, but a slave to time. I show my biases in my examples, but what about the intangibles that we are slaves to? Finish the sentence for yourself, "I need to...." or "I have to..." "If I don't do XYZ...." These are the things to which we can be slaves! If you pursue these things, what is it costing you?
Granted, there's a healthy balance in it all, but for me, it was a 'hit me on the head' kind of realization. I may not hoard money, but I hoard giving of myself. Now I need to find the balance b/w healthy Amanda and the relational Amanda that God created me to be!
Amanda - that's one of the lovely things about living here though - anywhere in town you are only about a ten minute bike ride from beautiful country - lonely places if you want, hills to walk on, mountains to climb - on days when we need a break from busyness or people we grab a roasted chicken and some rolls and go to the top of Mary's Peak, eat our supper, there's lots of room for running in the meadows and we come home refreshed. Or, we drive an hour to the coast - kids can play on the beach, we sit, soak up rays (or rain :-) and hear and see God. I lived most of my life in the mid-west but have found that there is something profound about being so close to all kinds of God's creation here.
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